Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
