Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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