piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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