11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
