I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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