Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
