Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
