your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
