Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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