My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
