he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He? As in you personified your dick?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
