You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
