The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
