OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
did i walk over a car last night?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
