idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
