Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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