I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
