Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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