You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
