Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
