So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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