just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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