i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
