I have demons in me.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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