am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
