then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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