I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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