My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Bring me that man meat
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
