youre lurking in front of me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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