it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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