i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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