Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
