I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
