You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
