True but thats because hes a fetus.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
