i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
