5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
