Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
