i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
