apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
