he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
