well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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