i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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