i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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