The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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