i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize
