Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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