thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
