shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
