i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
